Patriotism is more than a Big Flag
Donny the Dandy said, "John McCain is not a war hero because he was captured," while he thought,
"if not for my immaculate bone spurs that saved me from the draft, thank God, I would have been more heroic than anyone other than Teddy Roosevelt. But fear not. My bone spurs disappeared as soon as I got my medical exemption."
(Some are whispering that my bone spurs were on my legs (like those on chickens) or in my mind.
But I'm sure the letter from the doctor said the spurs were on my heels and after I find it, I'll release it at the same time I release my taxes and my third wife's immigration papers.)