Make Russia Great Again

T. Rump is negotiating with Vladimir Putin:

Donald, I've watched every episode of "The Apprentice" twice.
You were mesmerizing.
(
Vladimir, take all of Eastern Ukraine.

Donald, you are a most handsome man.
Who does your hair?
(
Take Western Ukraine as well.

Donald, you are one tough cookie.
Much tougher than Stalin.
(
While you're at it, take the Baltics too.

Donald, your hands are so much bigger than I was told.
Your wife is very lucky to have you.
(
Alaska is yours again, but you have to take
Sarah Palin with it.

T-Rump's-Allegedly-Small-Hands