T. Rump is negotiating with Vladimir Putin:
Donald, I've watched every episode of "The Apprentice" twice.
You were mesmerizing.
Vladimir, take all of Eastern Ukraine.
Donald, you are a most handsome man.
Who does your hair?
Take Western Ukraine as well.
Donald, you are one tough cookie.
Much tougher than Stalin.
While you're at it, take the Baltics too.
Donald, your hands are so much bigger than I was told.
Your wife is very lucky to have you.
Alaska is yours again, but you have to take
Sarah Palin with it.